it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
