Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
