I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
