he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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