why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
