he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
