I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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