I threw up into my coffee this morning.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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