i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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