Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i was born a porn star she said
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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