WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
