took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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