We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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