belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You can't motorboat a personality
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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