I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
