But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the raccoons are back...
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