Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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