My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
