Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
