I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
