Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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