How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
