Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize