I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
