I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
