If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Pants are for mortals
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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