Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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