it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my being single is dangerous.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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