He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
