I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize