dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
