yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
