I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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