There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize