True but thats because hes a fetus.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
