I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
