So drunk its hurt
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
