Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
