are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
