Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she woke up with a sticky ear
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
