Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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