What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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