I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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