and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize