I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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