I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
