I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
