I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
