I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
