I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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