I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
