I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
