i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I see more hoeing in ur future
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