I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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