CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
