It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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