This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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