After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
