I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
