I'm drive I can fine osifer
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
