My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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