there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
