we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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